


Bailey and Swati Save the Day (Repeatedly)

by SQSupernova



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-21
Updated: 2018-10-21
Packaged: 2019-08-05 09:12:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 16,146
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16365026
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SQSupernova/pseuds/SQSupernova
Summary: When new Authors appear out of nowhere and wreak havoc on Emma and Regina, transforming and transporting them into strange alternate universes, it's up to expert author wranglers Bailey and Swati to save Emma and Regina from these authors– and maybe also from themselves.A thank you gift to the mods of Swan Queen Supernova, from your authors and artists. :)





	1. Sarconistia

**Author's Note:**

  * For [swatkat](https://archiveofourown.org/users/swatkat/gifts), [Grevling](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Grevling/gifts).



> Bailey!!! Swati!!! Y'all have OUTDONE yourselves this Supernova and we've all been so, so grateful to you for all your tireless hard work fielding our questions, keeping us to our deadlines, coordinating matchups and reveals and everything in between!! I hope you enjoy this little piece of Swan Queen absurdity from your stans!! 
> 
> Much thanks go to all the artists and authors who participated as well as the artists who gave permission for their works to be used! This story works as a lot of isolated oneshots as well as one complete story. Each creator has used their own Supernova world/s to write their chapter's AU, so if you're interested in the story, there is a link at the bottom of each chapter to the creator's AO3 page. 
> 
> We hope you enjoy this as much as we enjoyed participating in Supernova!!

Some technical difficulties uploading this video! It's right [**here**](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pRcwb5K40UM) to watch as well!

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can find Sarconistia [here](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sarconistia).


	2. Intro

It’s a perfectly ordinary morning in Storybrooke. The sun is high in the sky, the birds are chirping, Emma Swan is sneaking glances at Regina Mills’s ass as she exits Granny’s…all is well. There hasn’t been a single attack of a Disney property in  _ weeks _ , which is nearly an all-time record, and they’re planning the one-month  _ We Haven’t Been Invaded!  _ party tomorrow night.

 

(“Do we really need a party for that?” Emma had asked her mother dubiously.

 

Snow had just shrugged. “We haven’t had a victory party all month. I haven’t had leftovers in my fridge in  _ weeks _ . Don’t question it.”)

 

And this is  _ great _ . Emma Swan and Regina Mills certainly don’t miss the day-to-day drama when a new threat appears in town, kidnaps their son, and then attempts to destroy the world with some new plot device. “Not at all,” Emma decides at lunch that day. “Just…you know, it’s kind of fun when we have to do unbelievable-for-non-true-love feats of magic together,” she concedes.

 

“That is true,” Regina sighs. “And of  _ course _ it’s terrible when Henry gets kidnapped, but there’s something very attractive about that steely look you get in your eyes when you realize we’re going to have to save him.” 

 

“You hurling fireballs is sexy as  _ fuck _ ,” Emma says, and they both blink at each other. “You know, as a friend,” she says.

 

Regina bobs her head. “Yes. We’re friends.” They smile uncertainly at each other, and Emma pats Regina’s shoulder and then freezes. 

 

“Whoa,” she says. “Regina, look out your window.” 

 

Regina twists around, squinting out of the window of the office. Visible through it, stretching unmistakably across the sky, is a brilliant rainbow. “Did we do that?” she wonders. “When you patted my shoulder– this is why we’re not supposed to ever have any physical contact, the world would implode with rainbows–” 

 

“I don’t think it was us this time,” Emma says, peering out the window. “Look. It looks like it’s coming from somewhere in the woods, doesn’t it? Isn’t that where the author’s mansion is?” 

 

Just then, they’re interrupted by their son, who throws the door of the office open and shouts out, “Moms!” 

 

“Henry!” Regina says worriedly. “What’s wrong? Shouldn’t you be in school?” 

 

Henry blinks. “School? I haven’t even graduated the sixth grade yet between Neverland and hell and that year I spent running away whenever you two showed any sign of fighting. I can’t go back there.” He shrugs that off before they can ask any more questions. “I was just at the author’s mansion, and it’s  _ bad _ .” 

 

“Bad how?” Emma’s eyes widen in horror. “Are there more men for us to date?” 

 

“It’s not those Hollywood writers again, is it? I thought I chased them away the last time with my fireballs– are you drooling?” Regina says, an aside to Emma. Emma grins. “What’s going on?” 

 

“I’m not sure,” Henry says darkly. “All I know is that there’s some kind of  _ house party  _ at the mansion. It’s like dozens of authors have all suddenly appeared in the mansion, each one determined to write their own story. And before long–” His clothing suddenly shifts to armor, and then– he’s abruptly a toddler, crouched on the floor with his eyes wide. “We’re all gonna feel its effects!” he says, aging eight years to the ten-year-old boy that he’d been when Emma had first met him.

 

Regina’s brow wrinkles. “You could go to sixth grade like this, couldn’t you?” she says thoughtfully. But as she speaks, she’s changing, robes swirling around her at first, only to be replaced with her Evil Queen getup. “What is happening?” she demands. “How do we stop it?” 

 

“There’s something I found,” Henry says hastily. He pops out of existence for a moment and then reappears, a grown man with a little girl standing beside him. Emma and Regina stare. “Supernova!” he says desperately, and he pops out of existence again.

 

“Supernova?” Emma echoes. She feels suddenly stronger, her clothes tight against her muscles and the oddest sensation in her–  _ wait _ , is she in ice skates now? “What is–” 

 

Regina bends over the computer, abruptly dressed in a long black coat and a pirate’s hat. “Let me google it,” she says, coughing for a moment until a petal emerges from her mouth. “Are you  _ pregnant _ , Emma?” Emma blinks down at herself. For a moment, she does, in fact, sport a baby bump, but it’s gone a moment later. Instead, she’s left with the odd sensation that she can turn a dial and replay that last moment.

 

She shrugs off  _ that  _ urge easily and stares at the screen. “Supernova,” she says, pointing to a search result. “All we need to do is contact this…Swati and Bailey. It says it right here. They specialize in wrangling wayward authors.” 

 

“Perfect,” Regina says, clicking on the result. The screen begins to melt as though Regina has command over the glass itself, and Regina twists her wrist, calling up her magic to fight it. “If this keeps affecting us like this, we’re going to need all the help we can get.” 

 

* * *

 

Elsewhere, one woman stops pummeling a punching bag. Another looks up from where her cat has planted himself on top of her, immobilizing her. There’s a shining signal in the sky, a pattern of stars gleaming against it, calling for their assistance.

 

“Oh, good,” says the first woman. “I’m always here for quality RPF.” 


	3. BulletStrong

“Let me guess, another pair of us popped up?” 

 

“Good guess, dear.”

 

“What are they this time?” Emma sighs, already halfway out of her chair behind the Sheriffs desk. She’s gotten used to getting these calls from her friend. 

 

“They claim to be a CEO and a director... who are married.” Regina informs her smugly. The fact that most of the versions of them that had been cropping up tended to be flirty, dating, or even married made Emma’s life a living hell. Hook keeps getting excessively pissed whenever the other versions of them are incredulous to his presence in their lives and that Emma wasn’t already with Regina or at least attempting to woo her.

 

Truthfully, it’s starting to grate on Emma’s sanity. Every single other realm has them together and in love while she’s trapped.

 

She groans. “Where are they?”

 

“They’re here in my office with me. They appeared at Mifflin, believing it to be their family home, and Henry sent them over. You should call the moderators again.”

 

“The Supernova mods? Regina, I feel like an ass calling them at this point. How many times—“

 

“Emma,” Regina snaps, “Call them. They can send these two back to where they came from and perhaps finally put an end to this.” 

 

“Whatever you say, Your Majesty,” Emma snips. “Keep them away from Killian, would you?” 

 

Regina goes quiet on the other side and Emma has to pull the phone away to make sure the brunette hasn’t hung up. Then comes, “Of course, Miss Swan. I wouldn’t want to disrupt your marital bliss.” 

 

And god, that’s so far off the mark. Her marriage has been a dumpster fire, so far from blissful, but she’s been trying so hard to make it work. Still, years after their I do’s, Emma is just as miserable with him as she was at that altar. 

 

She doesn’t say anything though, never does, and doesn’t on this phone call. She just mutters a quick “thanks” before a click blares in her ear signaling that Regina has hung up. 

 

She blows out a frustrated breath but she’s already clicking over to her favorites list. She had to add the Supernova moderators to that list not long after the ice-skating president debacle. With an embarrassed huff, because she’s the Savior and should be able to take care of this, she clicks on the contact and waits as it rings.

 

“Emma! I’m guessing it happened again?” The blonde has to smile when she hears Bailey greet her over the sound of keyboard clicks. 

 

“Yeah, a director and CEO this time.” Emma shrugs on her red leather jacket and starts to walk toward Town Hall. 

 

She hears Swati yell out faintly “Oh, that’s BulletStrong!” just as Bailey hums. “Yep, BulletStrong. Says it right here on the excel sheet.” 

 

“You two sure do love those,” Emma teases. 

 

Bailey chuckles before reassuring her. “Don’t worry, we’ll call up the author and tell her to get her characters under control.” A pause, then that smug voice comes down the line, “If they end up being too rowdy, we could always head over and play Savior again.” 

 

Emma groans. “That position has been filled, thank you very much! Though I do have to admit you guys have a way with authors. Regina and I couldn’t wrangle Isaac for a second.” 

 

“It takes a magic touch,” Swati jokes. 

 

“Although I’m sure Regina thinks your touch is magical enough,” is tacked on and Emma groans again, this time blushing until her cheeks burn. 

 

“Oh, look, Town Hall,” Emma tsks. “Looks like I’m gonna have to let you two go so I can see these other versions for myself and so you can make a hundred more spreadsheets.” 

 

“Don’t bite the hand that wrangles authors for you, Swan.” Swati says. 

 

Emma pretends not to hear it and hangs up. Those two are something else. She has to give them credit though, they do know their stuff. The conversation she just had, knowing that those two were on the case, puts her more at ease. Still, she isn’t prepared for the mind fuck she walks in on at the Mayor’s office.

 

Sitting behind the large oak desk is her Regina—well, not her Regina but you know—and standing off to the side is a younger version of Regina. The brunette’s dressed just as impeccably as the Mayor but there’s a wide-eyed innocence and purity about her, like she was never forced to endure some of what her Regina did. Or it had all to do with the younger blonde seated on the couch across the room, making moon eyes at both Regina’s. 

 

The younger Regina is the first to notice her presence and Emma’s taken aback by the bright and freely given smile directed her way. The older brunette whips her gaze over at the sound of Emma’s clomping boots and softens. Her expression isn’t as open as the younger Regina, but she can clearly see the love and affection seeping past the hard edges.

 

“Miss Swan,” Mayor Mills sighs in relief, “Did you call the moderators?” 

 

“Uh, yeah, they’re talking to the author as we speak.” 

 

The younger blonde quirks a brow at her from the couch then gestures for her Regina to join her on the couch, seemingly not wanting so much space between them in a nightmare realm where Emma isn’t married to Regina. The blonde jokes, “So, uh, this happens often then?” 

 

Mayor Mills chuckles at that and Emma has to press her thighs together, because apparently Regina just never stops being sexy to her. “Yes, dear. It’s been happening since the beginning of September. There are dozens upon dozens of authors writing up different versions of us and somehow making them appear in our Storybrooke. Thankfully, we’ve come to know the two organizers of the event for which the authors are creating, and they’ve swooped in to help every time we called.” 

 

“So, there’s large swaths of people that want us to be together?” The CEO questions incredulously. 

 

The Mayor frowns. “Well, I believe they want us,” She gestures between herself and the Sheriff, “together, and therefore created you two.” 

 

“So, what you’re telling me is that you two,” The blonde cooking show director points between the older version of them, “aren’t together?” Emma shakes her head emphatically—because come on not you too—while Regina looks everywhere except at three others in the room. Young Emma scoffs, “You’re kidding, right?”

 

This has the older Emma scoffing right back. “Why is that so hard to believe?!” 

 

The alternate pairing lock eyes and give one another an incredulous look that sets Emma’s panic into overdrive. Regina, however, seems less worried and more hurt. 

 

“Yes, well, you’ve seen them, Miss Swan. I’m sure the moderators will fix this promptly. You may return to the station.” The Mayor clears her throat, her eyes suspiciously wet. “Please excuse me.”

 

Regina struts to the private bathroom behind the couch the other pairing is perched on and slams the door shut. Emma groans, knowing she can’t leave things like this and follows her. 

 

The lovers on the couch sigh in unison before young Emma says, “Thank god our author didn’t make us that oblivious.”

 

Regina grips Emma’s hand in her own and smiles. “They’ll find their way, just as we did. I did once say I can’t imagine an instance where you don’t knock my world off it’s axis simply by existing, didn’t I? Well,” She jerks her head toward the closed bathroom door, “They’re no different.” 

 

“Maybe. They just seem to be overthinking it, I guess.” Emma squeezes Regina’s hand. “You think they’ll figure it all out.” 

 

“Of course, darling. We belong together, in every universe and timeline and instance. Dozens upon dozens of people agree.” 

 

“Well, I guess I’m just glad those two moderators-slash-organizers-slash-author-wranglers are gonna save us from this place.” Emma shudders as she looks around the cold office. “They must have the patience of saints to deal with these two.”

 

“Everything worth having is worth waiting for.”

 

“Yeah, yeah,” Emma laughs. “Hey, you think those two moderators would want to be on an episode of On The Dinner Table?”

 

“I’m sure they’d love nothing more, darling.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can find BulletStrong [here](https://archiveofourown.org/users/BulletStrong).


	4. Cadutadalcielo

There is a hole in Regina’s house.

 

Well, maybe not exactly a hole, per se. Some sort of window, only with wiggly edges, as if it is made of fluid, and it’s… well, it’s definitely not facing outside.

 

Firstly, because it’s in the middle of her living room. Emma had been worried when she’d received Regina’s frantic call, and after barging into her house she had come face to face with this two foot-tall, three foot-wide oval floating right above the coffee table.                

 

Secondly, because you can’t actually see through it. From the side you can’t even see it, as if it doesn’t have thickness at all, but from the front…

 

Emma and Regina are now sitting side-by-side on the couch, staring at the scene unfolding before them. It’s a street in Boston that Emma recognizes immediately. She has been there countless times before, only never as a magician (that she can remember, at least) but the window is showing precisely that.

 

It’s like watching a movie where the actor is your doppelganger. The camera – if there really ever was a camera recording – pans to the crowd gathered around Emma, closes in on a man and Regina right next to him.

 

“Did someone erase my memory?” the real Regina asks, looking away from the shimmering oval to send Emma an inquisitive look.

 

Emma shrugs, eyes still intently transfixed on her illusionist counterpart. “I have no- wait, did I just freeze time?”

 

Regina is confused by the abrupt question, because the grandfather clock by the fireplace is still ticking, and really, you need potions to control time. But Emma is still looking at the window and 

 

Regina realizes what she was referring to, because the crowd around magician-Emma is perfectly still, and she is still moving.

 

“What the hell is going on?” Regina asks rhetorically, but she can’t seem to stop watching. She’s curious, eager to see what will happen next, and Emma is leaning forward, barely even touching the sofa, drinking in whatever the window is displaying.

 

“Hey, that I can actually do!” Emma exclaims. Window-Emma has just teleported herself and the man away, engulfed in her traditional white mist, and the scene changes.

 

Window-Emma and window-Regina are in a bar now, and Emma is accusing Regina of stalking. 

 

“How typical,” the real Regina complains, “always thinking the worst of me.”

 

“You hired Sydney glass to take pictures of me and follow me around when I first came to town.”

 

“It was perfectly reasonable-“

 

“Ssh, I’m watching!” Emma silences her, and leans back against the couch as Regina rolls her eyes and leans against her instead.

 

They spend hours watching their counterparts fight, and a warming nostalgia washes over them, a reminder of their early rivalry, of chainsaws and apple baskets, and push and pull and struggle to open up. It’s not exactly like watching a movie, because even though there is no external voice narrating the story, both Emma and Regina can perceive an introspective analysis of Emma’s character. It becomes very personal in some points, hits the real Emma in places just as real, and Regina notices and comforts her as best as she can.

 

It’s a story in its purest form, and the two women cannot stop watching it unravel. They see struggle and ease, mistakes and forgiveness, all of this with the melody from Sweet Caroline as white noise in the background.

 

They’re both delighted to see that Henry exists in this world too, though a gloomy mood envelops Regina as memories of their broken relationship, back when the First Curse was still intact, are inevitably evoked. It’s eased away as their characters’ rivalry becomes reluctant collaboration and then comfortable companionship, and every rough patch they hit urges the real Emma and Regina to shift closer to each other, to make physical contact as a reminder that they are okay.

 

“Ha!” Emma exclaims during a specific scene, mainly to ease the dark atmosphere, “I get to control time while you’re still stuck with the same boring power. Even Mary Margaret’s is better than yours!”

 

That earns her an elbow in the ribs.

 

The blooming love slowly sparking between their counterparts makes the two women warm inside, and the shy smiles that appear on their faces are hard to erase. Seeing Emma’s newborn relationship with Henry is just as moving as those familiar three-way hugs.

 

Emma and Regina are so lost in the story that they don’t hear the front door being slammed open, and they don’t notice there’s an intruder in the house until she barrels into the living room.

 

“Cazzo,” she says, and Regina and Emma are so taken aback that they jump at the noise.

 

“Who the hell are you?” Emma asks, but after everything that’s happened in Storybrooke over the past years she doesn’t expect a truthful answer. If this weird woman is a potential menace for the town, well, Regina is right there with her, ready to fight her off.

 

“Sorry, I’m so sorry,” the woman’s saying, her accent somewhat European. She’s frantically rummaging through her pockets, emptying their contents onto Regina’s Persian carpet. “Where is it?!”

 

Emma chances a confused look at Regina. “Should we be worried?”

 

“Ssh, it’s almost over,” Regina hisses back, and continues to study attentively the window to this other reality, unworried by the stranger currently making a mess in her house. Emma glances back to the window then and almost chokes on her own saliva when she sees herself and 

 

Regina making out in her old apartment in Boston.

 

“HA! Found you, stronza.” The intruder is holding up a flash drive, grinning like a maniac as she approaches the shimmering aperture. She holds up the USB, placing it at the edge of the oval, and without warning sucks it away, making it disappear entirely.

 

“NO!” Regina yells, and finally her attention is directed at the odd woman in front of her. Nostrils flared, she growls, “What did you do?”

 

“Woah, you really are kinda scary in person,” the stranger comments, and Regina looks so flattered that Emma feels a pang of jealousy in her gut. “I’m sorry but you weren’t supposed to see that, it’s just that I’ve never been around magic before and when I uncapped the flash drive my story literally took off. I’ve been looking for it all over town, but then I bumped into the mods and they couldn’t help unless I found it first- it’s a whole thing…”

 

With the blank stares Emma and Regina are sporting, a vaguely awkward silence falls, and after a moment the stranger declares, “I’ll just see myself out.”

 

“Wait,” Regina says, and the person stops. “Who are you, what was that?”

 

“Oh, nothing, it’s just a story I wrote. You’re kind of famous where I’m from; I’m a big fan. You can call me Cad.”

 

“Well, how does it end?” Regina eagerly asks. “Do we get a happy ending?”

 

Cad looks at them solemnly, and she’s not talking about the story at all when she says, “That’s up to you.”

 

They watch her as she walks out, lost in thought at the cryptic reply.

 

Then, shaking her head Emma lets out, “That was so lame! It didn’t even make sense…”

 

“Italians.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can find Cadutadalcielo [here](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cadutadalcielo).


	5. KizuRai

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You can find KizuRai [here](https://archiveofourown.org/users/KizuRai).

“Good morning, Madame Mayor.”

 

Regina laughs. “Sheriff,” she says as she dips her head in acknowledgement, “you look tired.”

 

Emma hands Regina her lunch and ungracefully collapses on one of the chairs, unpacking her own lunch on her stomach. It’s the most undignified sight but it’s woefully the most Emma.

 

“I’d get a more proper sleep if the town didn’t fall into chaos once a day.”

 

“But how would we ever keep your interest in such a small town otherwise?” Regina says in jest as she unwraps her chicken sandwich. She was actually really hungry, and she didn’t even notice the time, so she’s grateful for Emma bringing her lunch.

 

Just as she’s about to take a bite out of her food, the door flies open and she groans. “At what point, would  _ you _ , of all people, think I would allow you to barge in here, Snow?”

 

Snow White stands there in her horrible pastel dress, a frown etched in her features. “I think you might want to come outside and see this.”

 

“Oh no, not another one.” Emma whines, and Regina goes over to tap at her arm to urge her to stand.

 

“Come on, the faster we get this over with, the sooner we can get on with our day.”

 

“You know,” Emma starts as she stumbles up and follows her mom, “if we  _ ignore _ it for a day, maybe we’ll finally get some sort of break.”

 

“Or,” Snow says and points to the the chaos and destruction happening outside, “our town ends in ruins.”

 

“Fuck my life,” Emma grumbles. “What even are those things?” Emma squints at what looks like a mass of water slithering about. The pavement on the ground beneath it sizzles and disappears as if the thing is melting it just on contact. The look kind of gross actually, with it’s dirty blue-brown skin and the way it keeps shifting.

 

“Maybe we should hit first and ask questions later?” Regina says as she rolls her eyes and gets into a battle stance.

 

“That sounds more like me, I think I’m rubbing off on you too much.” They both throw out that magic and hit the monster but it wobbles and absorbs the magic, it barely notices that it’s been hit, but they did gather its attention. “Uh oh.” The monster swings it’s large snout and points it towards them.

 

“Run!”

 

The monster speeds towards them, creating this horrible snarl like sound as it melts everything it touches. It felt like the more they ran, the faster it chased after them but at this point they don’t know what to do.

 

“In here!” Emma runs back into Regina’s office and pulls Regina inside because her high heels weren’t helping her speed. Regina stumbles from being abruptly pulled but she catches herself by running into her desk as Emma slams the door shut. The still hear the snarling but they now also hear the sound of the door melting on the other side.

 

“I don’t think that door is going hold, Emma.”

 

They look at each other worriedly. “Right, well, we can just poof out of here and regroup… and think of some other way of killing this thing because obviously our magic doesn’t work on it.”

 

“So you’re saying we should leave it another day?” Regina frowns at the thought that her office will be gone the next day at this rate.

 

“Yeah, that seems like our best bet right now.” Emma gives Regina a wry grin. “Guess I’m getting that day off after all.”

 

Regina smiles back. “Our tax dollars put to good use as usual, I see.”

 

There’s a hole now in the door and there really is no other choice but to run. But just as they’re ready to teleport away they hear a loud siren noise blaring across town.

 

Regina walks over to the window and sees two figures standing in the middle of town holding up a horn, or something that’s making the noise. “Who are they?”

 

Emma follows Regina and looks outside as well. “No idea, but they just saved our ass.”


	6. Lego_Femslash

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can find Lego_Femslash [here](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alicepire/pseuds/Lego_Femslash).


	7. gaypanic

When Emma woke up that morning, she felt… weird.

 

For one, she had a bitter disposition that she usually never woke up with, despite not being a morning person. 

 

Second, she didn’t remember falling asleep last night wearing a stiff leather getup.

 

_ How drunk was I? _

 

Third, her vision only allowed for greens and reds. Everything else was black and white.

 

_ Am I  _ still _ drunk? _

 

She groaned as she climbed out of bed, waving her hand and using magic to change her clothes to something more comfortable. She was relieved at the feel of her red leather jacket on her shoulders, as well as the fact that she could see its color. She smiled at herself in the mirror, but when a dark hooded figure appeared in the reflection behind her, she  _ screeched _ and immediately poofed herself literally anywhere else.

 

When she opened her eyes, she was outside Granny’s.

 

It only took Emma seconds to recover, and she broke out into a wide grin when she saw her favorite brunette leaving the establishment. “Regina!” she called out, taking a few quick paces, stopping suddenly when yellow suddenly returned to her vision. “Woah,” she blinked. The other woman didn’t seem to notice and instead spun around and scowled at her. “You’re never  _ satisfied _ , are you?”

 

“What?” Emma asked, but the brunette was already moving past her. “Uh, okay…”

 

“You’re such a dumbass,” a voice from behind her said, and Emma’s brow furrowed, recognizing the voice. 

 

“Regina?” she asked, spinning around and making eye contact. The woman looked _exactly_ like Regina, except she was wearing a band T-shirt and had wild curly hair. “Regina?” she repeated, a little more tentative. She gasped when she realized she could see the blue of her jeans. She kept staring, unable to look away.

 

The brunette gave her a playful scoff. “Glad I’m not the only one day drunk.” She clapped Emma’s shoulder before walking off, leaving the blonde even more confused than ever. 

 

Emma mumbled to herself as she wandered down the street to her parents’ loft, but when she heard a whisper and looked up to meet the nonexistent gaze of another strange figure, she flinched back and decided to poof instead. 

 

Maybe she really was drunk.

 

After materializing, her gaze landed on Regina making her way into the loft. She could have  _ cried _ at the sight of that obnoxious pantsuit. Surely  _ this _ was  _ her  _ Regina. (The phrasing made her heart throb, but no one needed to know that.)

 

She raced to the door, surprised when there was suddenly a swirl of purple smoke beside her. She jumped. When had she gotten  _ purple _ back? But whatever, she didn’t care.

 

“Regina!”

 

Emma was overjoyed. She launched herself at the woman, who gripped her back like there was no tomorrow. The blonde didn’t realize Regina was crying until she felt the woman’s shoulders shake against her. 

 

“Regina?”

 

The woman wiped her eyes before meeting Emma’s gaze. “ _ I almost lost you _ .”

 

“You didn’t though,” Emma said, laughing nervously as she brought her hand up to wipe Regina’s tears without even thinking about it until the other woman leaned into the touch. They both pulled back at the same time. Regina cleared her throat as Emma said, “So I think something’s wrong.”

 

“Me too,” Regina nodded. “I had a weird dream. About losing you over and over and over and…” she trailed off, shaking her head. “Anyway, what’s going on with you?”

 

“Uh,” Emma said, unsure where to start. Her magic was  _ wrong _ , she still couldn’t see all the colors, she had seen  _ four Regina’s _ in the span of five minutes… “I mean,  _ you _ just walked in there,” she said, pointing to the loft. Regina just gave her an affirming nod before they poofed into the building right outside the apartment door.

 

It was still unlocked.

 

Emma stepped in first, in case the other Regina saw her. Fortunately, no one was there, so the other Regina stepped in after her.

 

“Wait,” Emma whispered. Regina gave her a look that answered all the questions she had without her needing to ask, but she asked anyways, even quieter. “Are you  _ my _ Regina?”

 

“What?” she hissed back.

 

“I’ve seen like, four. But I think _you’re_ _mine_.”

 

At that, Regina looked flustered. “I uh…” she started, but then a loud moan interrupted her from upstairs.

 

The blood rushed to Emma’s groin as fast as it did to Regina’s face.

 

Emma couldn’t stop herself as she curiously moved towards the stairs to see what was going on, Regina on her heels, stopping as soon as the stairs and Emma’s former bed weren’t blocking the view.

 

The view of Regina and Emma, naked in bed, a Hitachi Magic Wand pressed to Regina’s— 

 

Emma’s eyesight became full color just before Regina poofed them out in another cloud of smoke. 

 

“Stop pouting,” Regina ordered. “Something is wrong, and we need to get to the bottom of it.”

 

“Yeah,” Emma agreed, but she couldn’t pull her eyes away from Regina’s lips. Not even when both their phones went off at the same time.

 

“It’s a text from Henry,” Regina explained. “He said there’s this author who wrote  _ four _ stories about us, and they’ve all collided in this… monstrosity.”

 

“ _ Four _ ?” Emma sputtered. “What a fuckin’ overachiever.”

 

“He said she did art too,” Regina added, reading from her phone. “Some soulmate nonsense.”

 

Emma’s mouth went dry. “Well, maybe she’s got a point,” she found herself saying. 

 

“What?” Regina asked, a hint of disbelief in her voice.

 

“What?” Emma asked back, feigning confusion.

 

Regina cleared her throat, tearing her eyes from Emma’s lips after nearly a minute. Emma felt like a winner. “Henry sent us the contact information of two  _ level-headed _ authors who can help us. We should call them. We need to figure us out.”

 

“Us?” Emma asked, her voice breathless.

 

Regina blushed hard. She cleared her throat. “ _ This _ ,” she corrected. “We need to figure  _ this _ out.”

 

“And us?” Emma couldn’t help but ask. 

 

“We’ll see,” Regina smirked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can find gaypanic [here](https://archiveofourown.org/users/gaypanic/pseuds/gaypanic).


	8. Angeii_K

They came tumbling out of the portal, landing in an uncomfortable heap on the floor, limbs tangled together and Regina could feel the distinct weight of the blonde on top of her. Gritting her teeth in pain from the elbow digging into her side which was the only thing stopping her from focusing on how well they fit together or the smell of Emma…or Emma’s hand on her breast, “Miss Swan!” She gasped, trying to free her hand trapped between them to shove Emma off of her, “Get off!”

“Holy shit,” She hears a voice say…a voice that sounds like Emma’s but considering the blonde still tangled up with her body it isn’t  _ her _ Emma…not that any Emma is  _ hers _ …I mean some of hers do have their own Emma’s…you know what, that’s not what matters. “Holy shit. Reggie! I think I’m hallucinating! That tea you made didn’t happen to come from Jeff’s secret stash did it?!”

**“Of course not! Unlike you I don’t dig around in other people’s things!”** an electronic voice filled the room her Emma finally seeming to come to with a groan and a quiet gasps as she squeezed her breast like she thought she was also hallucinating like her other half.

“Miss Swan! Stop groping me this instant!” Emma squeaks in shock, flinging herself off Regina except their tangled limbs have other ideas and their tangled up legs end up pulling Regina with her for a few inches, Regina’s hands slapping loudly into the hardwood floor to catch her downward decent as Emma looks around their surrounding in shock, hand absently rubbing at the back of her head as she stares across the room where Regina is sure Emma’s doppelganger resides.

“Holy shit…” two Emma’s say at once and Regina rolls her eyes just as both Emma’s then scream “Regina!”

“Do calm down, Miss Swan, you’re giving me a headache.”

“I’m a baby!” Regina looks over at that, just in time to see the door behind the other Emma open and out step a half dressed her…a much younger her…a more muscular her…a…more scarred her…physically and considering the marks on her skin, emotionally too.

“I’m naked.”

**“I most definitely am not! I haven’t made that mistake in over a month!”**

Regina looks in confusion from a computer sitting on one of the two large beds over to her much younger self.

“You’re a baby!” Emma squeals, shooting to her feet excitedly, “Regina! You were so cute! Look at those chubby little cheeks!”

“My cheeks are not chubby!” Regina huffs all while her younger self blushes and seems to still be looking them over.

“Holy shit! Reg, you get hotter! How is that possible?!” Younger Emma exclaims, looking at her younger self.

Regina stands slowly, eyes never leaving the form of her younger self in nothing but shorts and a sports bra, short hair curling around her face and eyes un– eyes… “Holy shit!” Everyone looks to her suddenly, younger her blushing slightly at the explicative but also their younger versions seem…almost mesmerized by her voice. “Why do I have Emma’s eye?!”

“We’re soulmates, duh!” Young Emma rolls her eyes as young Regina moves from around the bed, steps tentative and her head tilting slightly to the side, Regina’s almost sure she feels the air change, thicken and crackle, “Reg, relax…they’re us.”

**“Mother might have sent them, Emma!”**

“Through a weird portal thing?” Emma pursed her lips, looking them over, “Also like why make them older?”

Both Regina’s frown, before the younger one steps closer, Regina almost shocked into place, unable to move…wait, she actually can’t seem to make her limbs do as she says, “What’re you doing?” Regina growls, eyes dark, dangerous, scared.

“I think she’s like…I dunno sniffing you out?” Her Emma says before looking back at her double, “Are they all this intense? I mean, I get mine, with the whole Queen thing but…” She looks back at the two Regina’s, “What happened?”

Her Emma shrugs, “Mine was held captive for 12 years cause she’s Aberrant.”

Emma frowns, suddenly stunned in silence or maybe Regina stops hearing anything as her younger self gets right in her face, looking up at her before she reaches out a small scarred hand, running her finger over Regina’s scar on her top lip, the only thing they seem to share, “How?” Her gruff voice asks, sounding unused and by the fact that young Emma gasps when she speaks she’s assuming her assumptions are correct.

“I fell,” She says the tell old lie that’s been ingrained in her mind since the incident all those years ago but those eyes, those curious understanding eyes one the colour of hers and the other of Emma’s…look into her soul as she asks again.

“How?”

Regina can’t seem to lie to her, her touch childlike, reminding her of Henry’s young curiosity from years ago, “My mother,” she states and Reg smiles softly, reaching for Regina’s hand with her free one and bringing it up to her face, Regina seeing a pinkish burn scar on her temple just before her fingers touch it.

“My mother,” Regina’s eyes search her body, every scarred inch, “My mother,” she whispers again, Regina catches a tear as it runs down a…yes, chubby cheek, Reg’s hands moving to cup Regina’s cheeks and tilt her head so their foreheads are touching, Regina noticing her own tears when she feels Reg’s fingers brush away her tears too.  **“Mother did it because I am special, because I have Aberrant powers…because of my soulmate connection with Emma.”**

“Mother killed my first love in front of me.”

“Does her mother suck everywhere?!” Young Emma exclaims, shattering the moment, both Regina’s rolling their eyes, lips pursed in exasperation. 

“You have no idea, kid…” Her Emma mutters, eyes locking with Regina’s and they share a understanding smile.

“You don’t have soulmates in your world?”

“Kinda?”

“So you’re –”

“No,” Regina states while Emma shrugs and Regina arches a brow at her.

“Regina, every place we’ve been we are together!”

“Because that’s what the authors wrote!”

They glare at each other for a moment, “We fight like an old married couple,” Young Emma snickers and they both turn to glare at her.

Regina feels that pull again, the one telling them they’ll be pulled to another book so she turns to this other her, this one that’s known more pain, “It’ll get better, don’t hang onto that anger, don’t lose that good in you, Regina,” And then she steps forward, placing a kiss to her forehead.

Young Regina smiles, whispering in her broken voice, “She loves you too, you know?”

Regina smiles painfully at her before stepping back, instantly tangling her hand with her Emma’s as she feels the portal reopen behind them.

“Look out for her, okay? She acts like she can handle the world but like…sometimes she just needs someone to help her take on the burden…and chocolate.” Emma winks at her younger self and Regina rolls her eyes before she pulls Emma into the portal.

“Let’s just get home to our son.”

“One less story away from Henry…” Emma’s voice is a weird echo through the space as they’re sucked into a new world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can find Angeii_K [here](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Angeii_K).


	9. pseudomonalisa

“Emma, we have another problem.” Regina’s voice at the sheriff station door startled Emma from where she was patching the damaged walls from their showdown with Cora two days prior.

“What’s wrong?” she asked sharply, getting to her feet immediately.

“It’s not a  _ disaster, _ dear,” she said, smiling a little to ease Emma’s worry. “Just a… nuisance at this point.”

“Oh. What’s bothering you, then?” Emma asked, relieved but still concerned.

“It’s… Cora. She won’t leave.” Emma’s brow furrowed at Regina’s helpless frustration.

“Are you okay?” Emma asked softly, approaching the downcast mayor.

“I’m fine,” she replied immediately, but Emma pulled her into a warm hug anyway. Regina relaxed despite herself and wrapped her arms around Emma in return. She really  _ was  _ fine, more or less, but Emma holding her was never unwelcome.

“I’m okay, really,” she said again nonetheless, pulling back to smile reassuringly at Emma.

“What is she still doing here?” Emma asked, cocking her head to one side. “She told us she was going to leave.”

“It’s not like there’s a bus out of Storybrooke,” Regina explained ruefully. “She doesn’t really have a way to leave, so she’s still hanging around. I know she doesn’t remember who she was,” Regina said quietly, “but just… seeing her…”

 

“I know,” Emma said, squeezing Regina’s hand in understanding. “And I wish you hadn’t had to go through what you did. Right now, I just want her to leave so you aren’t so on-edge.” She wrapped her arms around Regina once more and rubbed her back soothingly. Regina hadn’t even realized how tense she had become and let herself slump against Emma’s chest. She was so comfortable in Emma’s arms that she almost jumped in surprise when Emma took a sharp breath as a realization came to her.

“I know some people who might be able to take her,” Emma explained with a grin. “Old friends of mine from Boston.”

“Where will she go? And how will they even be able to find Storybrooke? The enchantment protecting us from outsiders still holds.”

“We will just push Cora over the town line. Chances are she’ll lose her memory again and they can just take her away. I promise they’ll take her somewhere nice. I’ll have them waiting for her.”

“They’ll wait on the side of the road in the woods in the middle of nowhere to pick up a strange woman just because you asked them to?” Regina asked incredulously.

“Trust me, they’ve seen stranger things than this,” Emma replied with a laugh. “After all they’ve put me through, they owe me. This will work, I promise,” she said and kissed Regina sweetly on the forehead.

“If you say so,” Regina said with a hopeful smile, warmth flooding her heart at Emma’s casual affection.

***

Bailey hummed tunelessly and drummed her fingers on the steering wheel. She and Swati had disguised themselves as some of Emma’s associates and had been waiting on this deserted stretch of Maine road for almost half an hour. It was getting boring. Swati slurped noisily at her coffee and earned herself a mild glare in response.

“These  _ are _ the correct coordinates, right?” Bailey asked impatiently.

“Yup,” Swati replied, checking on her phone for the twentieth time. “What do you suppose Emma is up to this time?”

“There’s no telling,” Bailey said. “There’s been nothing out here for miles. At least it’s not dark – otherwise, this would officially be the sketchiest thing she’s ever asked us to do.”

“Sketchier than the last problem we had to fix for them?” Another slurp.

“Mmhmm,” Bailey hummed in reply and stole Swati’s drink. Swati had just turned her head to protest when a bright flash of light ahead made them both flinch.

They returned their attention to the road to find a middle-aged woman standing on the pavement and looking around herself in confusion.

 

_ Cora _ , Bailey realized.

“What have you gotten yourself into, Emma?” she whispered as Swati stepped out of the car.

“Hello? I’m… I think I’m lost?” Cora said.

“I’d say you are,” Swati said, easily hiding her own amusement. “Do you need a ride? We’re headed south.” Just then, Bailey’s phone rang.

“Emma?” she hissed as Swati ushered the strange woman into the backseat. “Please tell me you’re not setting us up for a felony.”

“I promise I’m not,” Emma said, laughter in her voice. “Remember, you said ‘no questions asked’, now just drop her off somewhere nice and you’re home free.”

 

“Somewhere nice? This lady is practically a raisin,” she whispered into the phone, “and I don’t think she’s right in the head.” Beside her, Swati stifled a laugh.  _ Poor Cora, _ she thought to herself.

 

“Yeah, she definitely can’t be left to her own devices,” Emma replied. “Is there some sort of assisted living place you can leave her?” Swati was bending low over the console to listen in and she spoke up.

 

“How about that place in midtown, ‘Enchanted Orchard Retirement Home’,” she suggested, “The one with the tagline, ‘Make Your Golden Years Magical’.” She heard Emma relay that to someone else and a burst of laughter came through the phone.

 

“We’ll take it.”

 

“Good. I suppose we’ll have to teach her the finer points of Bingo on our way?”

 

“If you would,” Emma said, the smile evident in her voice. “I really appreciate it. Have a good one!” And then the line went dead.

_ How many times are we gonna have to bail out these two idiots?  _ Swati wondered, shaking her head and looking up the address while Bailey made a three point turn.

On the other side of the invisible barrier, Regina hugged Emma tightly, whispering her thanks into her collar. Emma simply smiled against Regina’s head and watched her friends drive away. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can find pseudomonalisa [here](https://archiveofourown.org/users/pseudomonalisa).


	10. Lotto95

“What the…?” Regina’s eyes squint, grip tightening around the laptop until sparks fly from her fingertips. If it was yet  _ another prank _ , “EMMA!” That infuriating blonde woman is going to get kicked out of bed. Or  _ maybe not,  _ (because she knows she’ll end up shuffling herself onto the couch for cuddles, then Emma will give her a satisfied grin like she’s  _ won _ ). Regina grabs the laptop, and with it balanced on her forearm, storms into the kitchen. 

 

Emma’s eyes widen where her elbow rests on the counter, her body tipped forwards with a strip of bacon hanging from her fingers, frozen in place. Regina’s lip twitches when their eyes lock. The small dog pitter-patters across the floor, yelps and closes her mouth around the bacon. 

 

Regina arches a brow, “You’re feeding Princess Peach bacon again?” The laptop is lowered to the kitchen counter so Regina can place both hands on her hips. Emma snorts, and Regina rolls her eyes. They’ve had the dog for months now and Emma still laughs every time she calls her by her given name.

 

Emma shrugs sheepishly, licking each finger in turn whilst dodging the small animal that happily runs around their feet, “She likes it.” 

 

Regina scoops her up, snuggling the dog to her chest as her tail waggles. “What do you think? Should Emma be in the dog house and you can take her place in bed tonight?” Princess Peach yelps happily. 

 

Emma pouts, “I thought you didn’t want her on the bed because of all the hair?” she says, before thinking it through. She gives the dog a glare, before her puppy eyes lift back to Regina.  

 

Regina grins, (she’d already said  _ no  _ to the dog sleeping on the bed, and now she wants the little fluff ball with them she can’t let Emma think she’s won that war. On principle alone). “Magic, darling,” she says, crouching so the dog can jump from her arms before pressing a kiss through Emma’s hair. “But I’m sure we can make a little room for you too.” 

 

Emma chuckles knowingly, holding back the  _ I told you so,  _ (she’s nice enough to let Regina think she’s found a loophole). Her focus shifts to the laptop, which shows a frozen picture of Regina in a stage looking ecstatic and carefree. “What the hell?” Her finger taps against the keyboard until  _ a little less conversation and a little more touch my body  _ plays through the speakers. 

 

“If this is another one of your pranks, dear…” 

 

“How would I even-” her brows furrow at the screen then her eyes flick to Regina then back to the screen. She bolts up right, “Not another curse?” It’s only been a few months since the last one broke. Regina’s arm reaches out, thumb and forefinger closing on a small piece of Emma’s skin. She jumps back, “Ow!” and rubs her arm with a pout, “Did you just pinch me?” 

 

Regina smoothers down a smirk, “I had to make sure we weren’t dreaming.” 

 

“Then pinch yourself next time, woman!” Emma’s bottom lip juts out at Regina’s satisfied smirk. She ignores her by focusing her attention back on the laptop. The tip of her finger runs over the mouse, scrolling through countless videos. Her eyes widen, “Erm…there’s one of me.” 

 

“What?” Regina squishes her side against Emma’s until they’re huddled together, leant over the kitchen counter. “I’ve never DJ’d in my life.” 

 

“Me either.” Emma eyes brighten, “Look! There’s one of us together,” she says, selecting the video and smiling goofily as she presses play and the easy melody enwraps them. “Gotta admit we’re good.”  

 

A portal opens the same time as Regina’s mouth. She slams it shut when two figures fall onto the ground. “Miss Swan!” the woman… _ Regina,  _ says. The other her lays flat on her back, eyes squinting at the blonde woman lying on top of her. “Get off me this instant.” 

 

“Erm…sorry,” the other Emma says, blushing as she pushes herself up. Princess Peach trots over, yelps, then laps happily at the other Regina’s face. She bats her hands as Emma chuckles and crouches down, smiling goofily and strokes the little dog. “Oh my god you’re so cute!” 

 

The first set of women glance to each other, the screen where they’re still DJing then over to the clones that had just fell through a portal. “You might need to pinch me again,” Emma says, and Regina takes the opportunity to pinch her backside. Emma jumps and Regina smirks as their visitors turn towards them with wide, curious eyes. 

 

“Did you just...”  mumbles new Emma looking embarrassed and a bit hopeful.  _ Is this the future? _

 

The four of them stare at each other as Princess Peach runs wild between their legs. The YouTube video changes automatically, Regina coming onto the screen and running her hands over the turntable with ease.  _ I hope you don’t mind…but I wish you were mine.  _

 

“For the love of-” Regina shakes her head, waving her hand towards (of course they are) OG Emma and Regina. “Please tell me you two are the DJs.” 

 

OG Emma rubs the back of her neck, stealing a quick glance at OG Regina, “Unless you’re a secret DJ-”

 

“Don’t be ridiculous, Miss Swan.” OG Regina rolls her eyes, “This is those damn authors again.” 

 

“Authors?” Emma asks, wrapping an arm around  _ her  _ Regina’s waist. The little smile she receives warms her heart, and she tilts her chin to press her lips against Regina’s head. “Who are you?” 

 

OG Emma sucks in a breath at the butterflies in her gut.  _ If only…  _ She swallows, readying herself for the impending explosion that usually follows one of these latest shenanigans. “Erm…you?” she says, eyes flickering to the hand resting on Regina’s hip. 

 

“Well…” OG Regina clears her throat, ignoring the painful throb in her chest.  _ Looks like she got the girl too,  _ a man on the video says. “Are we together in every other universe?” she snaps, red rimmed eyes focused on the DJ version of them kissing.

 

They all look at the screen. Emma and Regina soften whilst OG Emma’s smile is pained, and she chuckles wetly, “Seems like it.”  

 

OG Emma and Regina glance at each other, smiling weakly. The other Regina looks to her Emma with a raised brow, and they share a knowing look. Regina opens her mouth as OG Regina pinches the bridge of her nose, inhales then exhales to the count of ten. Her arms shoot down to her sides, “BAILEY! SWATI! I swear to god you better get these damn authors under control! I’m sick of being thrown through one portal after the-”

 

A portal opens and sucks OG Emma and Regina through it. Princess Peach barks, runs in a circle then whines at the empty spot. Emma magics up another strip of bacon, throwing it to the ground. Princess Peach yelps, takes the bacon into her mouth then trots off, happy once again. 

 

“Looks like they’re even bigger idiots than we were,” Regina mutters, turning in Emma’s arms so their fronts are pressed together. Her fingers twist through the blonde hair, pushing it behind Emma’s ear. She smiles softly, “Imagine thinking any version of me isn’t in love with you.” 

 

Emma smiles as pink spreads on her cheeks. “I love you too,” she says, planting a gentle kiss to Regina’s lips. “Let’s hope whoever those authors are can help them realise it too.”  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can find Lotto95 [here](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lotto95).


	11. InTheName

It must be nearly time to get up. The alarm wasn’t going off, but Regina’s body refused to sleep a minute more. Regina opened her bleary eyes and found the view hazy. She wiped her eyes but the walls of her bedroom remained grey, when she knew the colour was Ivory Cream. 

 

She sighed. All the complimentary hues and tones of her carefully decorated haven were grey. Of course they were. Because when did Storybrooke get a week of peace without some creature coming to destroy the town, or a witch dropping by to enact vengeance, or <em>something</em> supernatural happening?

 

But alas, a town crises was no excuse for a scruffy appearance; they happened too often for it to be acceptable.

 

If Regina had hoped to burn colour back into her life with the searing hot water of her shower, she’d have been sorely disappointed. Her world remained shades of grey, in the dullest way. She rushed through the motions of her morning routine until she stopped to stare at her lipstick collection. There were shades of purples, pinks, and reds. And she couldn’t tell the difference between any of them. 

 

“Goddamnit Emma,” Regina muttered. Somehow, this was her fault. 

 

Regina blinked her eyes when suddenly the lipsticks she was so fond of regained their colour. As did the rest of her bathroom.

 

Well, that was the easiest fix in the history of all of Storybrook’s mishaps. 

 

Regina shrugged it off, the urgency fading. She’d bring this up to the Charming family but she’d have a goddamned cup of coffee first. 

 

She wasn’t halfway through her drink when there was a banging at her front door. Regina rolled her eyes and set her mug down on the counter. She walked over to the door and heard an annoyed voice ring out from the other side. 

 

“Regina, I know you’re up!”

 

The knocking stopped. 

 

Regina huffed and opened the door to see a confused Emma on her doorstep, in a decidedly un-colour-coordinated outfit. It wasn’t that it didn’t fit her form excruciatingly well, Regina’s eyes dipped down quickly, it was just that the colours were displeasing to the eye. 

 

“What is it, Emma?” Regina asked. Emma’s mouth opened and closed before she answered.

 

“I couldn’t see colour…” Emma began slowly.

 

“But it returned when you said my name?” Regina supplied. 

 

Before Regina could elaborate, a woman entered her peripheral view behind Emma. Her dark, shoulder length curls bounced with each step and her expression was darkened, creased in frustration.

 

“Regina! Emma!” The woman huffed. Regina stepped outside, closed the door and stepped between Emma and this intruding woman. 

 

“Who the hell are you?” Regina snapped. The woman shot her a quizzical look.

 

“Emma, you left these at the precinct, not that you really need them anymore but hey, can you annul a divorce the way you can a marriage? I don’t know man, I’ll leave that for you to sort out.” The woman spewed out a hundred words a minute and didn’t seem fazed about Regina yelling at her. Which made Regina’s blood run hot. Emma snatched the papers that Regina now realized the woman was holding. The woman grabbed Regina’s hand in a firm handshake. Regina damn-near burned it off.

 

“I’m Lara. We haven’t met but Emma told me <em>a lot</em> about you.” She said with a wink. 

 

“Emma, do you know this woman?” Regina asked, voice tense.

 

“Lara.” She chimed in unhelpfully. Emma flipped through the papers, oblivious to her surroundings.

 

“When did we get divorced?” Emma screeched. Regina’s eyes widened. “When did we get married? I don’t remember that, and I think I’d remember marrying you, Regina.”

 

Regina blushed and snatched the papers to see for herself. 

 

“Hi, uh, I think we can help clear some of this up.” 

 

Regina, Emma and Lara all turned to look at the two people who’d somehow managed to sneak up on them.

 

“Um, who are you?” Emma asked, the first to return to her senses.

 

“Bailey.” One of them waved.

 

“I’m Swati.” The other one said. Regina just blinked; that didn’t answer any of the questions swirling around her mind at their sudden appearance. “We’re here to help. There’s a rogue author that found her way into your realm and it appears she’s trying to impose her romanticised view of your relationship…”

 

Their relationship? What <em>relationship</em>?

 

“…anyway, we’re here to fix it.”

 

“The loss of colour vision?” Emma asked.

 

“We fixed that just fine on our own, thanks.” Regina snapped.

 

“Yeah, how did we fix that?” Emma asked. Poor Lara was just looking back and forth, likely getting whiplash. 

 

“Soulmates.” The one called Bailey chimed in. “The world is in black and white until you say your soulmate’s name. It’s a whole thing.”

 

“Soulmates?” Emma echoed, her voice sounding in near-awe which Regina did not have time to unpack right now.

 

“So we’re divorced soulmates?” Regina pressed.

 

“Not anymore!” Lara said, cheerily.

 

“Well, that’s a longer story…” Swati said. She took out her phone and fiddled around quickly, putting it back in a flash. “I sent you the link.”

 

Regina and Emma’s phones both chimed. Link to what? How did this person have their numbers? 

 

Before Regina could ask any of these questions, she saw Snow running up the street. Regina sighed. This was turning into a genuine crowd. It was too early for this. Snow jogged up the steps.

 

“I’m pansexual!” Snow announced, slightly out of breath. She looked perplexed, as if she hadn’t expected those words to come out. Regina, Emma and Lara all blinked at Snow and then turned to look at Bailey and Swati. “I’m so sorry, I don’t know what came over me. I woke up with this <em>compulsion</em> to tell everyone? I don’t know why this is so important today, I came out decades ago!”

 

Snow pushed past Regina.

 

“Have you seen Henry?” Snow called over her shoulder as she made her way into Regina’s house, uninvited. 

 

“We’ll fix that too.” Bailey said, almost sheepishly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can find InTheName [here](https://archiveofourown.org/users/InTheName).


	12. Cesibear

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can find Cesibear [here](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cesibear).


	13. detailsofyourincompentence

Regina's phone rings in the middle of the night. "Yes?"

 

"We have a situation. You should come over."

 

Disoriented, Regina sits up. "Emma?"

 

"Do you remember when Leroy  _ accidentally  _ groped Zelena's butt and she set fire to the Rabbit Hole? This is worse."

 

There's resigned panic in Emma's voice, and Regina doesn't ask further questions. "Give me ten minutes."

 

\---

 

She needs five.

 

Hair and makeup magicked into place, Regina pulls down the hem of her dress before poofing over to the station. Determinedly, she walks towards Emma, hunched over her desk. Equally determinedly, she ignores Emma staring at her legs. "Where's the fire?"

 

Emma forces her eyes up. "There's no  _ actual  _ fire," she replies, "sadly."

 

Regina lifts an eyebrow. There's a white feather on Emma's left shoulder, and Regina leans over to brush it off, Emma's blonde lock curling around her finger. Satisfied, she pulls up a chair.  "Okay, what happened?"

 

Emma looks up at her dubiously. "Why are you in such a good mood? Have you noticed what's happening in the cells?"

 

Actually, Regina hadn't, but Emma's sitting in front of her in a tank top, and Regina's only appreciating her well-defined arms. She smiles again, softly, and pulls another feather from Emma's nice, long, loft curls. When Emma stares at her in disbelief, Regina finally looks over to the cells…

 

… and at a stranger hidden behind a pile of feathers.

 

Well. That explains the feathers clinging to Emma's shiny hair.

 

\---

 

"She claims she's from another realm, only here to help," Emma whispers, "but we both know strangers in Storybrooke always spell trouble."

 

Regina nods. She leans closer to Emma again, pretending to brush off another feather. "I'll talk to her," she says, reluctantly pulling away from Emma's warm skin. If she has a distinctive sway to her hips as she crosses the room, she'll blame it on the late hour.

 

"Hello, I'm Mayor Mills," she introduces herself, holding out her hand through the bars. "My sheriff told me you have information about someone threatening Storybrooke?"

 

“I‘m detailsofyourincompetence,“ the stranger replies, shaking Regina's hand rigorously. “and yes, there's evidence that Frau Holle, or you might know her as Mother Hulda, is about to wreak havoc on this town.“

 

Regina lifts an eyebrow. "Who is this Mother Hulda you're talking about?" Regina asks doubtfully, softening only when Emma's fingers brush her forearm.

 

detailsofyourincompetence looks pointedly at the contact. "She's a well-known fairytale character where I'm from, a supposedly nice old lady rewarding hard work. I think she's set on stealing children from Storybrooke. And she makes it snow by fluffing up pillows. That's why there are feathers everywhere, giving you an excuse to touch  _ your sheriff _ ."

 

Blushing furiously, Regina pulls her hand back from Emma's soft, inviting neck.

 

Emma blushes just as furiously, stepping backwards. "Listen, usually we only fight disney villains, so unless there's a new cartoon movie, I don't see why we should be worried."

 

Regina nods in agreement. "Also, even if there's a new villain out there, we still have true love's kiss to defeat them." She smiles, thinking of Henry and Emma, and Henry and herself, and…

 

"While I think you and Emma kissing is long overdue and could break almost every curse, it‘s not going to work this time," detailsofyourincompetence replies, and Regina stiffens.

 

"I don't think…"

 

She's interrupted by the doors of the station flying open, two women in suits entering, waving around police badges. "FBI! We'll handle this from here!"

 

Both Emma and Regina turn around, and Regina places her hands on her hips. "What the hell?"

 

"FBI," one woman repeats, while the other hands Regina a manila folder. "The paperwork's in here. Now, if you'll excuse us, we need to talk," she cocks her head in the direction of the cell, "privately."

 

Regina starts to protest, but Emma drags her to her office. She closes the glassdoor behind them before putting five feet between herself and Regina, still avoiding her eyes.

 

\---

 

"Oh god, do they really believe us?" Bailey breathes before flopping down into the closest chair, swiveling around to glare at the woman in the cell. "What were you thinking? You can‘t just waltz in here and confront them about their feelings!"

 

"You have to be really subtle about it," Swati adds exasperatedly, sounding very tired, the last weeks finally taking a toll on her. "Listen, as much as we all want to rub their faces together- you can‘t just do that."

 

"But," detailsofyourincompetence whines, "it‘s taking too long. If we keep waiting for them to realize they‘re in love, either half of us have moved on or…"

 

"Shhhhh," both hiss, and Bailey adds, "as if you ever move on from swanqueen," while Swati says, "don‘t ever mention the show when you‘re here, and more importantly, **** and *****! Don‘t you know what happens?"

 

Bailey looks over her shoulder, making sure Regina and Emma aren't eavesdropping.  "At best you get called delusional, or worse, if you mention *********, **** and ***** in one sentence, *&* will add five inches of straight space between Emma and Regina."

 

detailsofyourincompetence cocks her head. "That explains a lot." Thoughtfully, she looks at Emma and Regina at opposite sides of the office. "What do we do then?"

 

Swati pushes her sleeves up. "We prepare them for this… villain."

 

\---

 

"Again, sorry for bothering you," one FBI agent says, placing another manila folder and a dusty book on Emma's desk. "Everything is under control now- you only need to sign this form, then we're outtta your hair. Also, our department hands out these compensatory books of European fairytales. Maybe… they are helpful."

 

With another nod, the three strangers leave the station, Emma and Regina staring after them.

 

"You know- sometimes this town attracts some weird visitors," Emma says once the door clunks shut.

 

Regina just shrugs, "You'll get used to it." Grinning, she leans closer to Emma to brush a  stray feather of the hem of Emma's jeans, her hand lingering. "Maybe."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can find detailsofyourincompentence [here](https://archiveofourown.org/users/detailsofyourincompentence).


	14. SoundsLikeHope

It’s satisfying as hell to watch that creepy Pirates of the Caribbean reject get arrested. He assaulted her, he’s a creep, and now he’s gone forever. Good riddance.

The little voice in her head telling her  _ he’s not wrong _ is  _ stupid.  _ It’s ridiculous, the idea that she’s missing all these memories. That she has family she doesn’t know about,  _ parents  _ she doesn’t know about.

Ridiculous.

She doesn’t need to be anywhere for a bit, so she takes a walk through Central Park. There’s some kind of flash mob going on near the fountain, led by an overly perky redhead singing about  _ true love _ , so Emma rolls her eyes and heads in the other direction.

Then, around one corner, she hears something really, really weird.

“If you like the horse painting, Regina, we can just get it,” says someone who sounds  _ exactly. like. her. _

“What makes you think I like it?” asks a woman with a low, attractive voice.

“I mean, you’ve been staring at it for the past five minutes.” Yeah, that’s definitely her own voice.

What the hell is going on?

Emma carefully looks around the corner and see them: a woman who looks  _ exactly. like. her _ , even wearing her red jacket, talking to a woman with short dark hair and a pantsuit. In August. Which, okay, isn’t the weirdest thing about this scenario, but  _ seriously _ . She’s gotta be roasting.

“I have not,” pantsuit lady—Regina—says indignantly. “And even if I had been, you would never know it. I excel at subtlety.”

Should Emma confront them? Run away? Call the cops? What would she even say?

Other!Emma rolls her eyes. “Are you kidding me? You’re literally the least subtle person I have ever—” She spots Emma suddenly and freezes. Regina follows her line of sight and freezes too. For a few moments, they just stare at each other.

Other!Emma is the first to speak. “Who the hell are you?”

The accusation in her tone makes Emma angry. “ _ Me?  _ What are you talking about? Who the hell are  _ you? _ ”

Other!Emma bristles and it looks like things are going to escalate, but then someone yells, “Wait! Stop!”

Two people come running up to them. They’re wearing protective suits and blue and bronze striped scarves. In August. “Who are  _ you? _ ” Emma asks.

“I’m Swati, this is Bailey, we’re the Supernova mods, everybody stay calm, where are we?” one of them says in a rush>

“What?” Emma, Other!Emma, and Regina all say at once. Well, Regina actually says “Pardon me?” in this really snooty way, but it amounts to the same thing, probably.

“We don’t know which story we’re in yet,” Swati explains _. _ “Don’t worry, we can get this sorted out.”

The other one—Bailey, apparently—whips out a tablet from some pocket somewhere and pulls up a map. “We’re in Central Park, right?”

“Uh, yeah,” Emma says, confused. “You wanna go sightseeing?”

“We’re trying to figure out what story we’re in,” Swati explains. “We can’t help you unless we know what’s gone wrong.”

“Story?” Regina asks. Emma turns to see that she and Other!Emma look just as baffled as her.

“We just have some questions,” Swati says, pulling a questionnaire out of her pocket. “First, I’ll determine genre. Have you found that in the past few days, no matter what you do, things have consistently been going wrong for no apparent reason?”

Weird stalker guy aside, and also not counting this entire situation, Emma’s been having a pretty decent few days, so she shakes her head. Her doppelganger and Regina do too.

“Are any of you keeping a terrible secret that has the potential to ruin everything?” is Swati’s next question.

“No,” Emma says.

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Regina says.

“What? No! I’m not keeping a secret. Why would I be keeping a secret?” Other!Emma crosses her arms. “Maybe  _ you’re _ keeping a secret.”

Swati sighs and turns to Bailey, who’s been tapping at the screen this whole time. “We’re in an angst-verse.”

“Already filtering,” Bailey says.

“Filtering? What is that, a magic spreadsheet?” Emma asks.

She meant it as a joke, but Bailey nods. “It’s regular Excel with some enchantments put on it to help manage the quantity of data. Not that spreadsheets aren’t already magic, but this is… well, enhanced magic.”

“Magical spreadsheets? What a useful idea.” Regina takes out a notebook and a pen from her purse and scribbles something down.

“Yeah. Sure. Magic.” Other!Emma pats Regina on the arm, then leans in close to the mods and whispers, “I don’t know what’s going on here, but if you’re connected with Regina’s cult somehow, you’re going  _ down. _ ”

“What’s she talking about?” Emma asks.

Bailey sighs. “I’m guessing the author went with exaggerated season one characterization for Emma. She’s not going to believe any of this.”

“Season one?” Emma asks, confused.

“Right, sorry, I forgot to give you this.” Swati hands Emma a pamphlet titled  _ So You Just Found Out You’re In a Fanfic: Coping Strategies for the Fictionally Challenged. _

Okay, this is the second time today someone’s given her something totally batshit ridiculous. It seems far-fetched, but… “You’re with the weird guy, aren’t you? The jerk who looks like he stepped out of a Hot Topic catalogue?”

Swati’s eyes widen. “That has to be Hook. Bailey, do we have a season 3 canon divergence AU with two Emmas?”

“I don’t think so.” Bailey taps the screen a bunch more times, then frowns. “No, that doesn’t match any of the fics.”

Either Emma’s dreaming or she accidentally took a bunch of acid, because none of this makes  _ any _ sense. “Canon divergence AU?”

“May I suggest, again, that you read the pamphlet?” Swati asks patiently.

“Look, maybe there’s been a mistake,” Emma says. “Do you think maybe your spreadsheet is wrong?”

“The spreadsheet is never wrong,” Bailey says firmly. “Also, we’re in the Enchanted AU.”

“Your spreadsheet told you that?” Other!Emma asks skeptically.

Bailey points at the sky, where, as it turns out, a dragon is flying by with Patrick Dempsey trapped between its claws and screaming his head off. “I took a wild guess.”

Other!Emma looks totally confused. “What the hell kind of bird is that?”

Regina sighs deeply. “It’s not a bird, it’s a dragon.”

“Uh, are you sure?” Other!Emma asks skeptically.

“Trust me, my ex was a dragon,” Regina says. “I know what they look like.”

“Your  _ ex? _ ” Emma asks.

Regina frowns at her. “Yes, my ex-girlfriend. Is that not the term this realm uses for a woman with whom one used to be romantically involved?” She looks at Other!Emma as though searching for confirmation. Emma nods at her, then goes back to staring at the Patrick Dempsey-carrying dragon.

“Okay, this makes sense,” Bailey says calmly. “We’re somehow in a mashup of the OUAT canon, the Enchanted canon, and the fic.”

“That makes  _ sense? _ ” Emma asks in disbelief.

“It’s relative,” Swati says with a shrug. “Listen, we’ve seen a lot at this point. Fantasy battles, flesh-eating bacteria… we never know what we’re going to encounter next.”

That explains the protective suits. “What are the scarves from?” Emma asks.

“We recently dealt with a rogue Hogwarts AU,” Bailey says. “We had some time, so we picked up souvenirs.”

“You know what, that’s fair,” Emma decides.

“What happens now?” Other!Emma asks.

Bailey and Swati exchange a look, then Swati says, “She has to go back.”

Regina takes a step backwards at the same time as Other!Emma stretches an arm in front of her and says, “Like  _ hell _ you’re taking her anywhere she doesn’t want to go, I won’t let you, I swear I’ll—”

“Not you,” Swati says quickly. She points at Emma. “Canon Emma. We need to get her back to her Regina.”

_ Her Regina? _

Bailey nods. “Yeah, we need to send canon Emma back to our ‘verse. Once she’s be back with canon Regina, everything will work out.”

“What are you talking about?” Emma asks. “I can’t just leave. What about my kid?”

There’s a moment of awkward silence. Swati and Bailey exchange another look, apparently not sure how to argue that.

Then Emma hears her own voice from behind her, more broken than she’s ever heard herself before:

“You have a kid?”

Emma turns and looks at Other!Emma, who’s staring at her with her mouth slightly open. She like she’s seen a ghost. Regina puts a hand on her arm, almost at her shoulder, and squeezes it gently.

Before Emma can ask what that’s all about, Swati says, “You’ll still have Henry in Storybrooke, I promise. You and Regina both will.”

_ Her and Regina? _

“You know something’s wrong, don’t you?” Bailey asks gently. “You know you’re missing something.”

Emma wants to deny it. She’s got Henry, her boyfriend, her job… what could she possibly be missing? Her life is perfect, no matter how lonely she gets sometimes. She knows that.

Then she looks at Other!Emma, who’s still got her arm stretched in front of Regina as though to protect her. Regina still has her hand on Other!Emma’s arm like she’s trying to comfort her, like she’s seen the fragility in Other!Emma’s expression and she doesn’t understand it, but at least she  _ cares. _

“Okay,” Emma says quietly. “I’ll go back.”

“Thank you,” Swati says. She pulls out something that looks like a cross between a wand and a screwdriver and points it at Emma. “Close your eyes.”

Emma does, and the next thing she knows, she’s…

She’s  _ home _ . Not in New York City, but really home, in her parents’ loft—her  _ parents,  _ she has parents—right in the middle of family game night. Her parents are in the kitchen grabbing chips, Henry’s setting up Monopoly, and Regina— _ her _ Regina—is sitting across from her on the couch, frowning at her in concern.

“Emma, are you all right?” Regina asks, reaching out a hand and putting it on her arm in the exact same place Other!Regina did with Other!Emma. “You look… strange.”

“Yeah,” Emma says, taking Regina’s hand before she can pull it away. “Yeah, I’m fine.”

And she is. Whatever the hell just happened, she’ll figure it out later. Right now, she’s  _ home, _ really home with her  _ mom  _ and her  _ dad _ and her  _ Regina. _

Her family.  _ All  _ of it.

Yeah, everything is going to be fine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can find soundslikehope [here](https://archiveofourown.org/users/soundslikehope).


	15. happylikeafool

Regina wakes warm and content. She stretches slowly, blinking her eyes open with a smile on her face, and freezes. There is a head on the pillow beside hers - a head with a face obscured by blonde curly hair, a head that was definitely not there when she fell asleep.

 

“ _ Emma _ ,” Regina whispers - the face that belongs to the head of blonde curls may be obscured by the pillow but there's no doubt in Regina's mind who it is in bed beside her. 

 

“I'm sleeping,” Emma mumbles without so much as moving her head. Her fingers twitch though - fingers that are resting against Regina’s hip. Regina’s heart races traitorously at the realization.

 

“Emma,” Regina says again, louder this time, ignoring her thumping heart. 

 

Emma’s head turns, her face appearing from under stray curls, sleepy eyes prying open just enough to glare over at Regina. The realization that she is in bed beside Regina, a place where she does not actually belong, seems to wash over Emma slowly, her eyes widening in surprise when it does. “What?.How?” she frowns, suddenly more awake, her brow knitting together adorably in confusion. “Were we drinking last night?” 

 

Regina scours her memory for some sort of explanation as to how they’ve ended up here but she comes up blank. “I’m not sure,” she admits, lips pursing.

 

Emma’s frown deepens and she pushes herself up into a seated position. The hand that has been resting against Regina’s hip pulls away jerkily, a blush suddenly colouring Emma's cheeks, as if she’s just realized where exactly her fingers have been resting all this time. “This isn't your room,” she says, her eyes avoiding Regina’s.

 

Regina’s heart is thumping loudly in her chest again, but she ignores that, pushing herself up too, looking around the room in confusion. “It isn't yours either.”

 

Emma kicks off the blankets and slips out of the bed, padding to the window to look outside. When she turns around, she looks even more puzzled. “Are we in the White House?”

 

“What?” Regina slips out of bed and moves to stand beside Emma at the window, peering outside and taking in what she sees - slowly coming to the conclusion that Emma might be right. “It seems so.”

 

“Holy shit,” Emma says, in awe. “Do you think… are you the  _ president _ ?”

 

Regina is not sure what to make of that possibility. “How do you know  _ you're  _ not the president?” she says slowly, a deflection mostly because it's a little overwhelming to picture herself as president.

 

Emma just rolls her eyes, scoffing, “Regina, please.”

 

Regina shakes her head but she can’t stop the smile that tugs at the corners of her mouth, fondness filling her chest.

 

She moves away from the window, wandering the room slowly, stopping to stare at a picture on the dresser. “We have children,” she says, reaching out to touch the glass of the picture frame, staring at the face of a little girl with curly dark hair and dark eyes that look so much like her own. The child is standing in front of Regina in the photo, while a teenaged boy who sort of looks like Henry stands on her left, and Emma stands on her right, their fingers laced together. Henry is there too in the photo but he is all grown up, a toddler in his arms and a woman beside him.

 

“Children  _ plural _ ? Like more than Henry?” Emma wonders. She moves quickly over to Regina’s side, looking over her shoulder at the picture. “Cool,” she says and she sounds almost wistful about it. She reaches for another photo frame on the dresser, that oddly longing tone in her voice gone as she asks, confused, “Are we also skaters?”

 

Regina looks over at the picture Emma is holding - it’s of them in full skating getup, each with a gold medal hanging around their necks, standing on a podium with hands linked and Emma’s head resting against the top of Regina’s.

 

“President  _ and _ an ice skating gold medalist?,” Regina’s lips purse. “That’s a little far-fetched don’t you think?”

 

Emma laughs, amused. “I dunno. It’s weird but kinda cool?” She shrugs, changing the subject. “How long do you think we’ll be here anyway?”

 

“Likely not long,” Regina answers. “Those supernova mods will rescue us.”

 

“They  _ are _ good at saving the day,” Emma hums her agreement, smiling at Regina. “And-”

 

Whatever else she might have been about to say is interrupted by loud, rapid, knocking on the door.

 

“Mom! Mama!” A young girl’s voice comes through the door and it’s clear she’s in some kind of distress.

 

Emma and Regina share a look and then Regina calls tentatively, “Come in.” She's not sure they'll be able to fool this child whose name they don't even know into believing they are  _ her  _ mothers but Regina isn't about to just leave a distressed child out in the hallway.

 

The door bursts open and the child from the photo rushes in - her hair a horrifying shade of lime green. Regina can't disguise her surprise at the sight.

 

“Aunt Zelena magicked my hair green!” The child explains with great annoyance as she stops in front of them. “I can't go to school looking like  _ this _ ! Fix it,  _ please _ .”

 

As if on cue, Zelena appears in the doorway. “Don’t listen to Hope, I did no such thing. This one is on Emma.”

 

Hope looks betrayed, her head spinning to look up at Emma. “You wouldn't, would you?”

 

Emma opens and closes her mouth, looking like a floundering fish. 

 

Regina feels much the same as Emma looks - it's too many things all at once and Regina's brain is struggling trying to catch up. The child's name is  _ Hope _ ? Zelena lives here in the White House with them? There's magic here? “What is even going on here?” she mumbles.

 

“You're an ice skating president living with your sister who has a penchant for pulling magical pranks?” Emma summarizes slowly, like she's not sure she's really grasping what is going on.

 

“That's preposterous,” Regina shakes her head.

 

Hope is looking at them suspiciously now. “Wait. You're not  _ my  _ moms,” she says with certainty, her arms crossed over her chest, her eyes narrowed. “What did you do with them?”

 

They're saved from having to answer that by Bailey and Swati striding hurriedly into the room.

 

“Oh thank goodness,” Regina says, relieved at the sight of the Supernova Mods. “Please get us out of here.”

 

“It's weird as fuck here,” Emma adds.

 

“Hey lady who looks like my mom,” Hope protests. “I'm not weird,  _ you _ are.”

 

Regina can't help but smile fondly over at the child, a ping of something in her chest. “She didn’t mean you, sweetheart, just the circumstances,” she assures.

 

Hope still looks kind of annoyed but she's holding back a smile now, seemingly affected by Regina's softness, and that only makes that ping in Regina's chest stronger. “But what about  _ my  _ moms?” she asks, the smile slipping as she looks suddenly worried.

 

“Your actual mothers will be back soon, dear, I promise,” Regina soothes her, a hand reaching out almost subconsciously to smooth her green hair.

 

Hope looks relieved and she smiles at Regina, appeased. “Okay.”

 

“Okay,” Emma echoes but then she adds, “But is anyone going to explain what is actually going on here first because,  _ seriously,  _ what the hell is this plot?”

 

“This is what happens when an author over commits,” Bailey tsks. “You get three different stories, all smashed together.”

 

“What kind of fool writes three stories at once?” Regina asks, a little horrified.

 

Swati laughs, shaking her head. “ _ Actually,  _ that's basically this author’s name.  _ happylikeafool. _ ” She pulls out her phone from her pocket and starts typing away. 

 

“What are you doing?” Regina wonders.

 

“Posting a picture of my dog. Sam can't resist defending all of her bad behaviour. This should distract her long enough for us to get you both out of here,” Swati explains.

 

Bailey nods. “Good call. Maybe I should post about spreadsheets too? She also can't resist spreadsheet talk. Or maybe something about Storybrooke’s infrastructure?”

 

“ _ What _ about Storybrooke’s infrastructure?” Regina quirks an eyebrow.

 

“Nothing, nothing,” Bailey shakes her head, ducking Regina's gaze to focus on her phone, typing away.

 

Regina's lips purse but she doesn't get to wonder long about what exactly Bailey meant by  _ Storybrooke’s infrastructure _ because the walls of the room are beginning to shimmer, everything fading as this bizarre mashed up world dissolves, and they are all transported back to where they last were in Storybrooke. 

 

Regina finds herself alone in her own bedroom and she shakes her head, shaking off the bizarre experience. If she maybe feels a little bit of a longing for a little girl with dark hair (temporarily lime green) or for the feeling of waking up warm and content with Emma's hand on her hip, she shakes that off too. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can find happylikeafool [here](https://archiveofourown.org/users/happylikeafool).


	16. Caisin

They land in some soft grass and they don’t have to wonder where they are for long before they hear a cheer go up behind them.  Startled for a moment at the idea that the cheer might be for them, they turn around to find a crowd surrounding a soccer field.  It’s clear that no one has even noticed their arrival.

 

It only takes Swati a quick scan of the crowd to find the jacket she’s looking for.  She pulls Bailey towards the bleachers, grateful that some things will always be consistent, no matter what universe they end up in.

 

“We shouldn’t sit too close to them,” Swati whispers as Bailey rushes in.  Bailey rolls her eyes. “I’m pretty sure Emma is famous in this one, we don’t want to come on too strong.”

 

“As if I would!”

 

Swati gives her a pointed look.  “Plus, we don’t know where we are on the timeline.  What if they aren’t together yet and we say something?”

 

And it’s true that the two women have seated themselves a little ways from the rest of the families cheering on the team.  As they get closer, it’s also clear that Regina has Emma’s hand in a death grip as they both sit on the edge of the bench.

 

“You were saying?”

 

“You never know, they might be stuck at their touchy feely gay denial stage,” Swati says as they sit down a couple of rows behind them.

 

The scoreboard behind the near goal tells them that they’ve arrived about half way through the first half and the home team, the Storybrooke Knights, are losing two to zero.  Neither of them have spotted Henry yet, but from the tension in Regina’s posture, he must be on the field somewhere.

 

Emma shifts in her seat and the next thing they know, she’s giving Regina a shoulder rub.  Right there in the middle of a good chunk of Storybrooke. Bailey feels a little faint.

 

“Don’t worry, it’s early yet.  They have plenty of time to pull ahead,” Emma says as Regina visibly melts into her touch.

 

“They’re just!” Bailey sputters, throwing her hands in the air, completely done already.  They haven’t even been here five minutes yet. “In front of all these people!”

 

Before Swati gets the chance to voice her own dismay, a gasp sounds through the crowd.  They have no idea what’s happening, far too distracted by the blatant PDA going on in front of them.  When Regina yells at the referee, asking the man if he needs to borrow her glasses, they’re pretty sure that Henry is involved.

 

They look to the field and see a tall boy in a white jersey (vaguely familiar, as if he might have been present in season one before the show completely forgot about him) help another up from where he’s fallen.

 

‘MILLS 8’ his jersey reads, and they know they’ve found him.

 

Henry turns around to glare at his mom for heckling the referee.  He looks about fifteen or sixteen, thought he could be about to graduate from college for all they know.  He’s about to get back into the game when he seems to notice Emma’s presence for the first time, his face lighting up as he waves in their direction.  

 

Bailey is a little bummed that they missed Emma showing up and what was surely a wonderful greeting.

 

Regina leans further into Emma, resting her head on Emma’s shoulder.  “I told you he’d be delighted to see you here even if you couldn’t make it for the entire thing,” she says.

 

“I don’t think I’ll ever get used to how excited he always is to see me.”

 

“We’re always going to be happier when you’re around,” Regina says, the words barely loud enough for Bailey and Swati to hear.  The kiss on Emma’s cheek is much harder to miss. Swati thinks she might scream. “That’s what family is all about.”

 

That one sentence has Bailey spacing out for a solid couple of minutes.

 

***

Emma’s presence spurs Henry on.  Not long after seeing her, he’s sprinting ahead in preparation for the ball to be kicked down the field.  The moment he’s in possession of it though, a flag goes up on the sidelines and a whistle is blown.

 

“What?!” Bailey yells.  “He didn’t do anything!”

 

“He got caught in an offsides trap,” Swati says, sighing.  They hear Regina grumbling in front of them as well, while Emma says that she hasn’t seen a trap like that in years.

 

“A what?” Bailey asks.

 

“Honestly?”  Swati is genuinely surprised.  “Your wife will be so disappointed in you.”

 

Emma seems to perk up at this, but it’s probably a coincidence.

 

“You know full well that she only watches hockey,” Bailey says.  “And I’m not exactly a sports lesbian.”

 

No, Emma has definitely heard their conversation, and she turns around to grin at them.  Bailey waves and says, “I’m a big fan!” without thinking. It’s only after the words leave her mouth that she realizes they’ll come off as unusual, given she was just talking about how much she doesn’t follow soccer.  Swati nudges her at the same time, coming to a similar realization.

 

Emma doesn’t seem to notice however, and when Regina turns to give them a soft smile, they both have a bit of an out of body experience.

 

“Would you like an autograph?” Emma asks.

 

“That’s alright,” Swati says, pretty sure it wouldn’t survive the trip out of this universe anyway.  “We didn’t mean to distract you while you watched your son’s game.”

 

Bailey is the one doing the nudging this time, eyes wide in exasperation.  Swati feels a hot flush of fear at the slip up, and she’s not sure she can fix it.  Wouldn’t it come off as even more weird if they, complete strangers, mentioned Henry by name?

 

But Emma’s grin turns dopey and Regina’s smile only grows as she turns to look at Emma with so much love that it could probably turn even the biggest anti’s heart.  Or maybe not. But it sure fills theirs with warmth and serenity, and that’s all that really matters.

 

“I still don’t know what an offsides trap is,” Bailey says after their hearts have returned to their normal sizes.

 

“We’ll rabbit Bend It Like Beckham when we get back.”

 

“Hey!”  Bailey crosses her arms, offended that Swati would think that she hadn’t watched such a lesbian classic.  “I’ve seen that, thank you very much.”

 

“Jules’ dad explains it to her mum in the movie,” Swati says.

 

Bailey shrugs.  “As if I’d remember the boring, non-femslash bits,” she says.

 

***

Thankfully, getting caught in an offsides trap doesn’t keep Henry’s spirits down for long.  Well before the halftime whistle, he rushes down the left side, the ball only feet ahead of him.  A controlling touch and another, and then he taps it past the defender. Emma and Regina are on their feet before he’s gotten around the other player.

 

Swati is on her feet a moment later, dragging Bailey with her and clutching her hand, feeling the tension all around them.  She can tell that Henry is too close to the end of the field to be able to do much. The sweeper will be on him before he makes it into the penalty box.

 

Henry is looking up though, confident in his possession of the ball.  He only needs a quick look of the players laid out before him. Then he strikes the ball; a strong cross above the top of the goal box.

 

The citizens of Storybrooke erupt into cheers, few as loud as Regina and Emma.  Bailey and Swati hear little else besides shouts of “Go Henry!” It’s Emma calling out “That’s my boy!” that has Swati feeling a little weak in the knees.  She sits down before she swoons at the sight of these two gorgeous women clutching each other in pure joy right in front of her.

 

***

By the end of the game, Storybrooke has scored another three goals.  The last of them by Henry in the final minutes.

 

Half the town seems to be chatting away in excitement as everyone starts packing up to leave.  Boys run off the field to be hugged and congratulated by parents and siblings and friends. Swati and Bailey only have their eyes on one family however, even as familiar people they haven’t seen in seasons walk by.

 

Emma and Regina walk hand in hand as they head to the parking lot, though their attention is trained fully on Henry.  The boy talks animatedly, only watching where he’s walking less than half of the time, his hands gesturing wildly. The words “hamburgers and milkshakes” filter through the sound all around them, making Bailey and Swati smile.  They watch Emma laugh and Regina nod, her free hand held out like it wants to fuss over her far too sweaty son.

 

Then Emma is lifting their hands to kiss Regina’s knuckles.  Gaining her attention to pull her closer and place a chaste kiss on her lips.

 

Bailey and Swati sigh as the little family climbs into Regina’s car.

 

“It’s so nice to see them get fluff sometimes,” Bailey says.

 

“We deserve a soft epilogue, my love,” Swati quotes.  They both laugh. “I wouldn’t say no to some more angsty slow burn though.”

 

“Oh never.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can find Caisin [here](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Caisin).


	17. Finale

“So that’s it,” Bailey says, looking up from her spreadsheet. “A few easy mail merges that I’ve spent six hours on each and it’s all wrapped up. The authors are under control.” 

 

She prints it out and slaps a sticker onto it. “Here you go,” she says. “For your records.” 

 

Regina gapes at her, wordless. “Did you just…send off all those authors  _ and  _ reorganize my entire file system to make it more efficient, all in the space of a day?” 

 

Bailey shrugs. “That’s my job. It’s no big deal.” 

 

“Don’t let her say that,” Swati says, shaking her head. “She’s amazing.” 

 

“You’re both amazing,” Emma corrects them, staring up at them. (They are both unnaturally tall, she thinks, which might just be a side effect of superherodom.) “You’re the real deal, huh? Like genuine, honest-to-goodness Marvel superheroes.” 

 

Swati scoffs. “How dare you.” 

 

“What?” Emma says, bewildered.

 

Bailey nudges Swati. “They’re owned by Disney,” she reminds her. “There  _ is  _ no DC in their universe.”

 

Swati shudders. “First comp het, now this? Maybe we should have left an author or two behind. You’ll need it.” 

 

“Hey,” Emma protests. “We’re doing just fine. We were about to celebrate one month without any Disney promotional properties– can we still have that celebration? Regina was going to make her lasagna. It’s been  _ days  _ since the last time I ate her lasagna.” She frowns. “Wait. Did Regina make lasagna in every single one of those alternate realities? Did I eat grilled cheese in every one?” She rubs her stomach. “I think I’m going to be sick.” 

 

Bailey nods sagely. “Give me five. I can have a list of thirty remedies for indigestion in no time.”

 

Swati says, “Just say the word. I’ll fight the indigestion. I’ll fight anyone for you.” She raises her fists. 

 

Regina demands, “Are you hitting on my– sheriff?” Suddenly, her dreams of keeping Bailey and Swati in town as administrative staff are beginning to seem less and less attractive. 

 

Swati shakes her head violently. “No. No way. I would never get in the way of your…thing.” She makes a mad dash for the exit, Bailey right behind her.

 

“Thing?” Emma echoes, following them from the room. “What thing?” 

 

“We have a thing?” Regina says, brow furrowed. “What kind of–” She pushes the door to Town Hall open and stops talking.

 

Main Street is packed with  _ picketers _ . There’s a long row of them, stretching from the station to Granny’s to the library to the other end of the street, all with signs bobbing over their heads.  **_LET EMMA AND REGINA KISS, YOU COWARDS!_ ** reads one sign.  **_END THE HETEROPATRIARCHY!_ ** suggests another.  **_I MARRIED MY BEST FRIEND!_ ** says the third. The fourth, reading  **_I LOVE MY GAY MOMS_ ** , is being held by another picketer. Beside them, Henry is holding an identical sign. 

 

“What is going on?” Regina demands.

 

Swati looks sheepish. “They all hit their deadlines,” she says. “Now they’re antsy and they just want you two to…well…” 

 

“Kiss?” Emma says, her voice unnaturally high. “Like…friends do?” 

 

Bailey spreads her hands with a sigh. “Yeah. Sure. Like friends do.” 

 

Regina blinks at Emma. Emma blinks at Regina. “I mean, kissing you wasn’t terrible in those other realities,” she says. “We’ve done all the regular friendly milestones. Had a kid together, sacrificed our souls for each other, moved the moon, had our first hug– well, if you count the group hugs with Henry, because your hand was nearly on my back so I do–” 

 

Regina kisses Emma. It’s very friendly. If friendly includes tongue and hands sliding up Emma’s shirt while Emma hikes up Regina’s dress with her hand. It might even be… _ best friendly _ . 

 

“YAS!” shouts one of the picketers.

 

“VIVA LA SWAN QUEEN!” cries another. Actually, they’re all crying, sobbing as they applaud and cheer for Emma and Regina. Emma and Regina do not notice them. They’re too busy kissing, enough that Henry has had to scurry off back to school at last. 

 

Bailey sticks two fingers in her mouth and lets out a loud whistle. “Okay, that’s enough!” she orders, escorting the picketers out. “All authors and artists, betas and cheerleaders, let’s get out of here!” 

 

“With me!” Swati orders, leading the way. Together, Swati and Bailey coax, herd, and threaten all the picketers from Main Street and out of town, the sounds of their sobs carrying all the way through Maine. Granny shrugs and sets up a new  _ We Survived!  _ party at the diner. Henry goes back to the author’s (or is it authors’ now?) mansion, where the rainbow seems to be permanently fixed in the sky.

 

And Emma and Regina, still kissing on Main Street, don’t notice a single bit of the action.

 

(Beyond the long overdue action that they’re getting, of course.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Extra thanks go to happylikeafool for coordinating this thing!! Happy Supernova season, fandom! And to many more!!


End file.
